6 months

Happy 6 month birthday Alyssa!

I am no different than any mother who acknowledges their child's montly birthday. The only difference is that I'm giving you this greeting here on earth while you are growing up in heaven. 

I can't believe it's already been 6 months since you were born...6 months really isn't that long ago and yet it seems like a lifetime ago.  It's crazy to think what I was doing just 6 months and 2 days ago...I was still that innocent young first time mother who was enjoying every single day being pregnant.  What I would give to get that innocence back.  I feel like I've aged so much since you've left.  Gone now is the innocence and is now replaced with reservation. 

I've accepted your fate as well as mine.  I know that I will always be jaded and I will always greive for you, but there is also a new found wisdom about me that I could of only learned from you.

You've taught me so much in such a short amount of time and they are lessons that I'll carry with me till my dying day.  You've made me cherish every day that I wake up in the morning as I now know that life can pass us by with a blink of an eye and with no reason or cause.

I never would of thought that I'd be here today so hopeful of tomorrow as I carry this new life inside of me...your little baby brother or sister.  I don't know what life has in store for me in the next 6 months but I do hope that it has something to do with hearing the sweet sound of a baby crying. 

I love you so much!  Thank you for continuing to guide me through this crazy thing called life.  I can't wait till we meet again.