June 23: Dear Baby

written June 23, 2012 (4.3 weeks)

Dear Baby,

Hi - you don't know me yet but I'm your mommy. I learned about you just a few days ago and I couldn't be more excited to have you. 

I am writing this lettter to you in secret.  You see no on but your daddy and I know that you exsist.  As much as we want to tell the whole world that we're going to be parents again, our first baby (your big sister) unfortuantely did not arrive with a happy ending.  You see your big sister Alyssa is growing up in heaven.  We lost her just 4 months ago and your daddy and I's life have never been the same since.

So as you can see keeping you a secret is something we want to keep and protect.  You can say that we are guarded, we really put our heart and soul into it with your sister and it all came crashing down.  I hope that as each day goes by I am able to slowly bring my guard down. 

I'm sure there will be lots more to update but till then I wanted to let you know that I love you already...I just need you to do whatever you can to grow and thrive so that I can kiss you when I meet you.

Love,
Mom