How to Help a Bereaved Parent

If you haven't experienced this type of loss, it can be a struggle to know what to do or say to a grieving parent. Here are some tips that I've learned from other angel parents:

-I am very open to talking about Alyssa, her cause of death, my pregnancy with her, what it's been like since then. Don't be afraid to ask questions because it helps me process this journey and brightens my day to be able to talk about her. Even if I become sad when talking about the journey, each time a tear falls, it helps me move through the grief process while feeling supported.

- If I am lucky enough to have more children, I will of course be overjoyed, but I will still grieve for Alyssa during my future pregnancy journeys. It may be a confusing and difficult process.

- We want Alyssa to be acknowledged as our first child. We want her to be remembered as part of the family; a neice, granddaugther, cousin, or your friends' first child.

- Please remember that this is something that I will never get over or completely move on from. I need to grieve in my own time, and when I am supported to take time in my grieving, it makes me feel less alone.

- Crying is good. It helps release some of the grief. If you talk about Alyssa and I start to cry, you are not making it worse, you are helping me work through it in a healthy way. Holding grief in or ignoring it sometimes makes it come out in unhealthy ways down the road.

- While it is fairly raw currently and may be for the first year, the grief will ease up with time. There will be upsurges (holidays, birthdays, due dates, mother's day, father's day), along with unexpected moments.