Today is suppose to be a day of thanks and I am very thankful for what I DO have. I know there are people out there who have it way worse. But a part of me questions how I can truly be thankful when a part of me was taken away. How can I be thankful for something I DON'T have?
This time last year I was still the "innocent" girl who thought she was invincible. Who was so thankful for the life that she was carrying inside of her. It was just a week ago last year that I found out I was having a baby girl. A baby girl that I was suppose to care for, love, cherish and watch grow up.
I remember vividly being on Facebook and writing how thankful I was for what I had and was going to have. Little did I know that just 3 months later my life would turn completely upside down that all my hopes and dreams would be taken away from me.
If you haven't noticed already my heart is very heavy today. This was suppose to be our first thanksgiving with Alyssa. I still can't believe that she's not here. That I can't share her with the world. It's been over 9 months since we've said hello and goodbye all at the same time.
On the flip side there is a new tiny miracle growing inside me. This miracle is what's keeping me hopeful, he is helping me see that there is still beauty in life that while there may be storms that pass through our lives, there are also rainbows after that storm. I'll never forget the storm that passed because it devasted my entire life but seeing this rainbow eases the pain and makes me appreciate what I do have, right here, right now.
I'm sort of at a loss for words today but I wanted to wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving. Hoping you are spending the day with the ones you love and even though you may be going through a rough time right now I hope you can find one thing that you are thankful for...There is so much beauty out there in the world.
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